2nd Trip to Spanish Emergency Room

Yes, it's true... I have officially been admitted into the Teknon ER center, TWICE.  At least this time it wasn't a result of pure clumsiness!

Long story short, I was showing many signs of apendicitis... piercing pains on right side of abdomen, throwing up, couldn't move, etc.  So given my incredibly intolerant Spanish immune system we decided to get it checked out.

Once at the hospital, the secretary at the front desk asked me what was wrong, and instead of saying 'I have pain in my abodomen' (just liked I had practiced in Spanish in my head before arriving)... I said with a straight face, 'I have danger in my abdomen'.  The ER secretary actually laughed at me.  Bad Spanish Medical Translation #1.
 
After a blood test and hours of waiting they told me I was fine.  The problem was, I WASN'T fine (see symptoms listed above).  So the doctor said we'd do X-Rays and then asked me if I wanted something for the pain, and I of course said yes.  And here comes Bad Spanish Medical Translation #2... the word 'something'.  I interpreted 'something for the pain' to mean a few Tylenols or a couple of Asperins, but  I quickly realized that when the doctor said 'something' she meant 'big giant butt shot'.  Too bad I didn't identify this translation mishap until the needle was sliding in.  After being scarred by many years of Strep Throat butt shots growing up, I was hardly amused.  And to make matters worse, Joe was sitting by my bedside (head directly in line with my butt) when the nurse just pulled down my pants and stabbed me... how romantic.

And finally, Bad Spanish Medical Translation #3.  Before the X-Ray, the technician asked if I had a piercing above my belly button.  I had just told the doctor I had piercing pain around my belly button, so I thought he was asking me if I had piercing pain NOT if I had a belly-button piercing.  So I said yes.  He then looked me in the eye and said, 'Well then we will definitely have to take it out'.  Considering I thought we were talking about pain, not jewelry, I thought he meant he would have to take my appendix out.  So I looked him right back in the eye, terrified, and said 'estás seguro (are you sure)´ and he said ´sí, estoy seguro (yes, I am sure)´.  And then I went into panic mode and said, 'BUT you haven´t even taken the x-ray yet, how do you know you need to remove my appendix'.  He then realized we clearly were not talking about the same thing.

Fortunately I had no more spanish mishaps.  And even better, the X-Ray results showed my appendix was fine.  Instead I just had a stomach infection of some sort that was treatable with antibiotics and a few days of eating rice and noodles.  Dear God, PLEASE let this be my last ER visit!